Lord of the Wings
by Nitsirk the Witch
Summary: Girl accidentally winds up in Middle Earth. The twist? She's not a Legolasmaniac, she's stuck with her brother coming too, and has to stop a Mary Sue from ruining Middle Earth before anyone realizes that she's gone. Title explained inside.. kind of. R
1. Prologue

A/N: Ok, now I realize that the title doesn't exactly make sense yet. Don't worry, it will… maybe around chapter 2 or 3. For now, suffice to say that one of the characters in this fic should have taken Word processing before starting to type fics… maybe I should too…. Well, enjoy! 

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Lord of the Wings

Prologue

Things were changing in Middle Earth, the girl knew that. She looked toward the west, where, through a dense forest, was her destination. Rivendell. She checked her weapons and walked on. She would reach the Elvin city in a day and a half if she rode quickly.

TBC….

Leigh Black leaned back from the computer. Yep, this had to be one of the most blatant Mary-Sue's she'd read in about a week. She sighed. It was her fault too that it had been written. See, the author Sahara Emerald was a friend of a couple of Leigh's friends. See, Leigh was a writer on Fanfiction.Net and had been showing her friends the site when they decided to write their own stories. (In the Harry Potter section) Now, of course, Leigh hadn't thought this would bring about any harm. Even after they informed her that their friend, Sarah Jones, AKA Sahara Emerald, had written a story in the Lord of the rings section, she hadn't seen the harm. She hadn't been able to read it at school because the evil school internet didn't let them go to FF.Net. 

But now, after reading it she was in a state of shock. It was horrible. The story, so far, was about an obvious Mary-Sue, and it was also obviously a Legomance. Ok, well, maybe everything would turn out ok. At least Leigh hoped so.

"Whatcha reading?" Billy, Leigh's pesty 12 year old brother asked. He skimmed over the page and made a disgusted face. "You didn't write this did you?" 

"No!" Leigh declared. "Please, Jess and Liz's friend wrote it. Anyway, what do you want?"

"Well, I'm getting bored because Dad's watching Star Trek and I can't play Nintendo. Wanna go down to the woods?" Billy asked. 

"Well, I dunno," Leigh said.

"Please! I wanna tell ya about this GREAT story idea that I got from watching Two Towers!"

"Fine," Leigh sighed. Leigh's dad had just bought the Two Towers and the Hulk on DVD. After watching it twice since they'd arrived at his house the day before, it was only natural that the wheels in Billy's head had begun to turn..

"Where are you going?" their grandmother asked in a grouchy voice as Leigh put on a pair of boots and a jacket. Their dad lived with his mom and his sister ever since him and their mom had got divorced.

"The woods."

"You have to be back by 5:00, so you can order the pizza," their aunt said. Billy looked at his watch.

"Um, it's only 12:00," he stated. "But don't worry we'll be back. It's not like we're going to go on any epic quests or anything."

"Just be back," Their grandmother said. Leigh nodded.

"C'mon pest," she said to Billy and they went outside. About five acres behind the house was a small woods, or as Billy called it, a group of trees. After they had moved out into the middle of nowhere with their mom, they had realized that what they had considered akin to a forest, was a mere grove. Anyway, about 500 feet into the forest was a large field. They'd never crossed this field because it belonged to the neighbors, but on the other side was more woods. They assumed that these were larger, and they were plotting on entering them soon. 

"So, Dad's watching more Star Trek, huh?" Leigh asked Billy as they walked.

"Yep, and Andromeda. I hope we don't run into Suzie out here." Billy looked around apprehensively. Suzie was there little cousin who lived next door. She was really spoiled and highly annoying.

"Nah, I think she went somewhere," Leigh said. "Now, tell me about your story."

"We have to wait until we're farther in the woods, so we can enact it!" Billy whined. Leigh shrugged as they walked. Finally they reached the clearing. 

"Well, it's about me and my friends, ok? And there's this Mary-Sue who takes control of people and we have to stop her-" Billy continued to babble. After a while he picked up a stick and pretended it was a sword. He forced Leigh to follow suit. She was a little less than thrilled. Just then she noticed something. A girl was walking toward them from across the field. And she was dressed REALLY weird. Obviously Billy had noticed as well because he had stopped talking. They decided to walk towards the girl. 

"Um, hey, who are you?" Leigh asked. The girl looked surprised.

"I am Erenwen Súrion, princess of the Forgotten Lands. I am on my way to Rivendell to partake in the council," the girl said. She was about 5'9" with a perfect figure and a overly musical voice. Leigh decided that the only logical explanation was that a model from nearby Cleveland had hit her head while watching LotR and now thought that she was supposed to be there.

"Well, uh, you obviously took a wrong turn, because you're in North Royalton, Ohio," Leigh declared. The girl smiled. 

"No I'm not. You must be the one who showed them that wonderful site. That's why you're here. It's all in the terms of agreement, in very fine print."

"What is?" Leigh asked in alarm. Like she really even read the terms of Agreement.

"Why, the fact that if you're responsible for someone finding out about the site and they make a certain type of fic you'll have to come too. Here, it's in Spanish, so I can't read it. Although I'm fluent in Elvish, Dwarvish and every other language of Middle Earth." Leigh looked quizzically at the girl, who'd she'd now determined to be an insane Mary-Sue, before taking the paper. She then pulled her brother out of hearing range. She glanced at the paper. Being quite fluent in Spanish, although she was horrible at any other language, except English, she could get the jist of what the paper said.

"Article 3, section 2, subsection 5, part 7, paragraph 2," she read. "Any person who tells someone about this site is then responsible for all stories written by them and whomsoever they tell. If the informed writes a story featuring a Mary Sue or Gary Stu, the one responsible for directing them to this site will be forced to enter the story and right the wrongs they will no doubt cause. However, if the responsible party doesn't know about the type of story, or actually likes that type of Mary Sue/Gary Stu, they will not be allowed in because this will just mess it up more." She put down the paper.

"Just peachy," Leigh declared. "Suddenly she realized something was different about her brother's ensemble. "You look like Link!" Billy looked at his outfit and let out a gasp, for he was wearing an outfit much like the Hylian Hero, although he still retained his physical appearance. Leigh was now wearing an outfit much like the Sophita from Soul Calibur 2's third costume. Her dry, dishwater blonde hair was now in a ponytail instead of the claw clip it had been in.

"Look! I got a sword!" Billy declared gleefully, unsheathing a sword that looked quite similar to the Hylian sword from the game. However, considering he wasn't the strongest child in the world, he couldn't really lift it, and realizing it wasn't much use to him, he returned it to it's sheath and picked up a stout stick. Smiling contentedly, he proceeded to hum the background music from Ocarina of Time as he pretended that that was his weapon. Leigh shook her head. She wasn't even going to try to look at her weapon yet. After all, she wasn't exactly the most athletic person in the world. She glanced at the girl, who she had now decided was a Mary-Sue.

"Well, we'd best be off!" Mary-Sue said brightly. Leigh rolled her eyes. Billy gave her a well-what-else-are-we-gonna-do look.

"Fine, Erin, or what ever your name is-"

"Erenwen," she promptly stated. 

"We'll come," Leigh finished, ignoring the last part of the comment. The Mary-Sue started to walk away. Leigh sighed and followed, as did her little brother, who was now humming one of the background songs from the movie. Suddenly he stopped however, and turned to her.

"Hey Leigh, ya know how I told grandma that we weren't going to go on any epic quests?" he asked. Leigh nodded. "Well, I think we are!" Leigh shook her head. Trust Billy to find some good out of all of this.

"Don't you think that they'll get worried about us?" Leigh asked.

"_Our _grandma? Get worried about_ us_? Are you kidding? She'll be thrilled!"

"Well, what about Dad?" Leigh pointed out. "You can't say that he won't be worried."

"As long as we get back before Star Trek, Farscape, Andromeda, and Stargate are all over, he won't even notice that we're gone," Billy declared. Of course he was right; their dad was virtually dead to the world when the TV was on. Billy was the same way about Nintendo, after all.

"We must walk faster!" their traveling companion said. "Please try and keep up!" Leigh looked at her like she was crazy.

"Um, look, you have a horse. We don't have any. This means that you will be moving faster than us no matter what," she declared.

"Well, I'll just have to get you two horses then," she stated brightly after thinking for a split second. She seemed to focus for a second of a distant place in the woods. Billy and Leigh watched skeptically. But to their surprise, two horses ran towards them, wearing saddles and all that other stuff that horses have on when people ride them. 

"Um, Leigh," Billy said quietly. "We don't know how to ride horses."

"How hard can it be?" Leigh said with a shrug. She placed one leg in the stirrup and tried to swing her other one over, but she slipped off and landed in the mud. Glaring at the horse, she tried again… and fell off again. After a few more tries, she finally did it correctly and looka t Billy who was already on his horse humming the Lord of the Rings background music again.

"Let's be off then!" the Mary Sue said, and rode off. They had no choice but to follow, but as Leigh quickly learned, horses didn't like her, and hers had no sense of direction because it kept stopping for no reason and going up low branches so that she had to duck. This was going to be very difficult…

TBC…

A/N: Ok, now I know that this is rather short, but I wanted to upload it right now. I'll try to write more soon. (If anyone actually reads this.) 


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing that isn't mine.

A/N: I want to thank those to people who reviewed. I was ecstatic when I saw that I actually had reviews. Anyway, here's the next chapter. It's a little longer than the last one. Enjoy!

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Lord of the Wings

Chapter 1

Leigh began to notice that as they continued their journey, she began to have times when she couldn't account for what had happened. For example, when they started riding it had been about midday, but it seemed that in only a matter of minutes they were already stopping to rest and it was evening. She really had no way to explain these happening except that the Mary-Sue was doing something to alter time. If only she could figure out a way to find out how. But first, she decided to talk to Billy. 

"Did you notice anything weird on the trip here?" Leigh asked quietly.

"What, you mean like the fact that Miss. MS over there made it so she could type some more?" Billy asked. Leigh was shocked.

"You mean you _saw _her do that?" she asked in shock.

"Well, yeah, that's what I just said!" Billy answered sarcastically. Then he noticed that Leigh was still looking surprised. "You mean, you _didn't _see her do that?"

"No, all I remember is, well, not remembering what happened," Leigh said. "I mean, we were in Dad's woods, and then suddenly we're here and it's nighttime!" Billy was looking at her strangely.

"Well, I guess she forgot I was here then, and must've used her evil Mary-Sue powers on you," he declared after thinking. "Here's what happened: as we were riding, everything kind of dimmed, and a weird light appeared around her," he pointed at the other girl. "Then, she suddenly looked normal and she got off of the horse and walked over to a desk, where a computer was sitting. She sat down and was typing."

"So that's how she's doing it," Leigh mused. "She probably typed the next chapter."

"Yeah, I guess so," Billy agreed. "I'm worried though."

"Why?" 

"Well, it looked like she was typing on Works, you know, on Microsoft XP, and you know how sometimes it corrects things that you don't want it to? I think it might've been doing that. Plus, she didn't even read it through before uploading it."

"What, are you afraid there's going to be typos or something?" Leigh asked incredulously.

"Yeah. I mean, she could really ruin something." 

"Maybe your right." Leigh stopped as she noticed Mary-Sue walking towards them.

"You had better get some rest. We must leave first thing in the morning if we want to make it there on time."

"Fine, whatever," Leigh said. She sat on the ground. "Look, do you have any blankets or anything?" Mary-Sue smiled. 

"Of course! I must stand watch however, for these woods are crawling with Orcs!" Leigh rolled her eyes. She just knew that it she let Mary-Sue keep watch they'd get attacked. Well, she for one did not want to be attacked by Orcs, mainly because she wasn't that good at fighting.

"I've got an idea. I'll stand watch. After all, it was _so _kind of you to let us come with you. Who knows what would have happened if you didn't!" Leigh knew that she sounded flakey and probably really fake, but Mary S. seemed rather flattered. 

"Well in that case, I'll just go over here and get some rest."

"You do that," Leigh muttered. She glanced at Billy, who burst out laughing.

"Why did you do that?"

"Look, from what I've read, her chapters are really short, so this chapter was probably just her thoughts on her "quest" and on us maybe. The next chapter is probably being written write now, but as long as one of us keeps watch, it won't include any Orc attacks tonight," Leigh declared.

"You'll be asleep in five minutes," Billy stated.

"No, I won't! I'm not even tired."

"_Sure _you're not," Billy said skeptically. Then he yawned. "Well, considering there aren't gonna be any Orc attacks, I'm gonna go to sleep. Have fun standing guard." With those words of encouragement, Billy walked up to his horse and took two blankets out of the saddle bags. He plopped on the ground and used one for a pillow and one for a blanket. Leigh moved away through the trees so the camp was barely in view. Wishing she had her CD player she sat down and leaned against a rock. Now, she wasn't afraid of a lot of stuff, but she would have definitely preferred her own warm room, or even the annoying sofa bed at her dad's house, instead of this rock. Well, at least it was peaceful outside…

A few minutes later, Leigh was asleep and dreaming. Then, just as suddenly, she woke up. She'd had a horrible dream. It was a memory from just a week ago.

Three weeks before her actual birthday, Leigh's mom had decided to throw her a surprise party, despite the fact that Leigh had specifically stated that she did NOT want a party. 

_"But I let Stephanie and Renee handle the inviting and they said that a lot of people are excited about coming!" her mom had declared after the first few guests arrived._

"We left the game early," Leigh's friend Amber had said, referring to the football playoff game. "We'd better win, or some people probably won't come." Leigh's high school was two games away from winning state for their division… or at least they had been.

"We lost by 3 points," Leigh had said. "I heard it on the radio." Five people were there, and Leigh was feeling stupid because she had realized that she was going to have a party at all.

"There's a big sign on your house! How could you have missed it?" another of Leigh's friends asked.

"I didn't go outside since my mom and I went to the store around two!" Leigh declared. Then she left the room. A half an hour passed and no one else came. 

"Renee said it would probably take them till 11:30 to get here. She and Stephanie said that they would definitely come." Leigh looked at the clock. 11:20. Finally another of Leigh's friends showed up. 

"I wasn't gonna come because I was so tired but considering I live almost next door," Tia said. Then at 11:45, Renee arrived with another of Leigh's friends. After Leigh showed her 8 guests around the house, she left the room for a minute, and came back just in time to hear her friend talking to Leigh's mom.

"No one else is probably coming. They're all too tired," she said apologetically.

"Do you think that if they'd won it would have made a difference?" Leigh's mom asked.

"No. They'd have probably gone some where else to celebrate winning."

Back in Middle Earth, Leigh was not happy. She'd just gotten over this. Oh sure, _loads_ of people wanted to come to her surprise party. It was bad enough that she felt stupid for not figuring it out, and that she hadn't even wanted a party in the first place. Then you add to that that after she'd heard about it, Leigh had hoped that maybe this time would be different. Maybe the guy she liked would be there and maybe he would have a great time and think that she wasn't just that smart girl who never did anything fun. No, even after she'd gotten over the I-don't-want-a-party-thing her night was ruined because she didn't end up with a party. She sat there for three hours with a fake smile and watched as a few of her guests laughed and talked about things she, being not involved in anything, didn't understand. Then she had to watch them try not to look bored.

_"If you guys are tired you can leave if you want,"_ she'd said. And then she'd had to tell her mom that she'd had a great time, and then she'd had to act like she didn't care when people, mainly her friends who she talked to more than those who'd came, said, "Hey, sorry I couldn't come. I was really bummed that we lost the game and couldn't bear to go to a party." Then she had to go and relive it in dreamland! Now she was really unhappy. Well, she was so _not _going back to sleep. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So was I right? Did you fall asleep?" Billy asked the next morning. 

"Only for a little bit," Leigh answered shortly. Billy looked at her quizzically.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

"Nothing. Leave me alone," Leigh asked.

"Yeesh, last time you were being this crabby was last Sunday!" Billy said. "You know, after the surprise party that we all knew about for six days and you didn't"

"I _knew _what you meant," Leigh said through gritted teeth. Billy didn't answer however, because Mary-Sue walked up looking as fresh as a daisy.

"I've been thinking, we must make up names for you. Yours are rather bland."

"I like my name!" Billy said.

Twenty minutes later…

Billy was humming the Fellowship theme song, and Leigh was wishing she could knock him off his well-behaved horse.

"Baelnor, please be quiet. If you must sing, sing quieter!" Mary-Sue said.

"For the seventh time, my name is Billy! B-I-L-L-Y! Not 'Bile-Nose' or whatever it is you're calling me!" Billy said, and began to hum a different background music from Lord of the Rings.

"Aleia, please tell your brother to stop! That is no way for a child of the High Family of Royalton to behave!" Mary-Sue pleaded.

"Ok, first, my name is Leigh, not Aleia. Second, I said I was from North Rotyalton, and my dad just lives there. He isn't part of a 'high family'. He works for CVS, for crying out loud!" Leigh declared. However, as she said this she shook her horse's reins and it sprinted forward. "Ahh! Stop horse! Slow down! End your running! Cease and desist!" However, of course the horse didn't listen. That is, until Mary-Sue came to the rescue. 

"Ziron, stop!" she said clearly. The horse stopped. Mary-Sue rode on.

"Sure, you listen to _her_!" Leigh grumbled. "Giddy up!" The horse just stood there. "Come on Xerox or whatever your name is, Miss Perfect up there won't be happy if we're late." At this the horse started moving at an elegant trot. "Sure, you _have _to please her! This is so not fair!" 

When they finally reached Rivendell, Leigh realized what her brother had been so worried about. As anyone who had seen the movie would know, the elves ride in on horses. Well, Miss Perfect seemed to have a flaw: she couldn't type. For instead of three majestic horses, three large hares that had saddles and the other horse equipment was what Legolas and Co. were dismounting. Refraining from laughing at the thought of the Elf riding a rabbit, Leigh looked at Mary-Sue. She looked shocked and confused. However, in a second, she smiled as she locked eyes with Legolas. Leigh wanted to hurl. Never, _ever, _did she ever see such a hopeless case. Miss Perfect had written this explicitly so that Legolas would fall immediately for her. She, no doubt, would play hard to get until she explained about some past wrong that made her wary of being in relationships. They dismounted. 

"Hello, milady," Legolas said, bowing. "Where have you come from?"

"Hello, sir. I am Erenwen Súrion, princess of the Forgotten Lands. My father has sent me to represent our nation at the council. These two I met on my way here. This is Aleia Lasarie, daughter of the High Family of Royalton, an independent state in the Forgotten Lands. And this is her younger brother, Baelnor Lasarie. They were scouting the Boarders of Strongsville earlier this week when they heard of my journey. My father asked them to accompany me." Leigh was getting angry. Ok, now saying the "Boarders of Strongsville" made her chortle, but that was only because Boarders was book/movie/cd store with a café _in_ in Strongsville, near North Royalton. But she had to stop this name thing.

"Excuse me," she began. No one seemed to hear her. 

"That is very brave of you, traveling all this way. I am Legolas, of the Woodland Realm. Let me escort you inside, you must be very tired after such a long journey."

"Um, hello!" Leigh said.

"That I am!" Mary-Sue said, ignoring Leigh completely. She and Legolas left, leaving Leigh to stare after them. How was Leigh going to fix the problem of no one listening to her? Suddenly, Leigh remembered the paper in the pouch of her outfit. The one that had told her why she stuck here. Maybe it could help! However, before she could check she heard a hearty laugh.

"That Laddie, is a very interesting story indeed!" Gimli the Dwarf said, clapping Billy on the shoulder. 

"Thanks! I told it to all my friends back home. They loved it!" Billy declared.

"Well, I hope you'll share more fantastic tales later," Gimli said, and he walked away.

"_What _were you doing?" Leigh asked.

"Making friends with Gimli. I didn't see Merry and Pippin after all," Billy said sadly.

"What did you tell him?" Leigh inquired fearfully.

"Oh, I told him about that story I made up about the house pets fighting the wild animals. Of course, I didn't mention the Nintendo characters, or how we always have to give Giz Milkbones. Were those invented yet?" Billy asked suddenly.

"Why me?" Leigh whined and she walked away. 

"What'd I do?" Billy asked.

"Nothing just forget it."

"I'm hungry," Billy declared suddenly. 

"If you're hungry, I'd try the kitchen," a voice said. Billy and Leigh turned. There stood Boromir. Poor, doomed Boromir. It was really quite sad. Especially after you saw all the previews for the extended version of The Two Towers where he acts all nice to Faramir. 

"Hi! I'm-" Billy said.

"Baelnor and your sister Aleia. I've met your traveling companion."

"Actually, I'm Billy and her name's Leigh. But Mary-Sue thought that our names were too 'bland'," Billy said.

"I see. I am Boromir, from Gondor. Your Erenwen asked me to send you to the kitchen if I saw you," Boromir stated. "Good day."

"Bye," Billy said. Then he turned to Leigh. "You're being very rude to the poor guy! I mean, he's gonna die and you won't even talk to him!" Leigh rolled her eyes.

"You sound like Ann," she declared, referring to their older sister. Ann had been trying to "fix Leigh up with" some guy from her college. Leigh, being rather shy, hadn't exactly been very nice to him on the phone and so Ann had called her rude.

"Let's just go to the kitchen," Billy said. And they set off. 

TBC…

Next time: Council of Elrond, and Leigh figures out a way to combat the horrible typing skills of the Mary-Sue.

A/N: Well, there it is. Oh, and the whole party fiasco was just added so no one starts to think that Leigh's this little popular girl or that she has a horrible home life. I know that it's very dull, but it actually happened before and I was kind of bummed so I threw it in. Anyway, please review!


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I only own what's mine and everything else belongs to other people.

A/N: Ok, well, I'm back finally! Thank you reviewers for reviewing. Anyway, as it's been a while since I updated, I'll spare you all an explanation til the end. Enjoy!

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Lord of the Wings

The Council

Leigh was getting very bored. She was waiting for her brother to wake up so that they could head off to the council. In the meantime, she had contented herself with re-reading the paper that she'd gotten from Mary Sue. What she'd figured out from it was that she was pretty much stuck here until Mary-Sue either a) finished the fic or b) deleted the fic. The problem was that if she abandoned it then Leigh was pretty much stuck in Middle Earth. The plus side was that virtually no time was really passing as long as she accomplished her task, and, a real plus was that whenever she did something that had the power to foil part Mary-Sue's plot, she'd get a reward. It didn't say what this reward was, but hey, anything was better than nothing. Especially since she was beginning to suffer singing withdrawal. Leigh, an avid member of the school choir, spent so much time singing that she was actually ok. However, as she had learned from other Fanfics, good singing was a trait of Mary-Sues, so Leigh was so NOT singing while in Middle Earth. Anyway, she really just wanted to sing along with one of the musicals she had on DVD, like Chicago. As she couldn't listen to music, sing, type, talk to her friends, try to get into Post-Secondary Options or even write down ideas for her fics, Leigh decided to just walk aimlessly around until Billy decided to awaken.

This ended up being a very good thing, for as she was passing a seemingly empty room, she spotted a…. computer? Well, the room wasn't actually empty, as Miss "Sahara Emerald" was asleep on the floor by the computer AND she was snoring! Wishing they had invented cameras, a brilliant idea suddenly came to Leigh. Slipping stealthily into the room, she walked up to the computer and looked at the newly uploaded chapter of "Sahara Emerald's" fic. Certain pieces greatly amused Leigh.

_As Erenwen awoke gracefully from her peaceful slumber she sighed, immediately recognizing everything in her new Elvis shroom. The bed that she was sleeping in was the moat comforting bed shed ever slept in. _

Leigh looked at the room. Yep, it was beginning to look like an "Elvis shroom", as there were pictures of "The King" hung all over, and the walls had a certain fungi quality to them. There was also a moat encircling the bed (complete with drawbridge and crocodiles) and on the bed, was a small shed. If this was an example of the girl's typing skills, Leigh was not looking forward to the council. Then Leigh had an idea, a brilliant idea, in fact. However, she quickly realized that she wouldn't have time to get it done now, so instead Leigh pretended to have just entered the room as Mary-Sue woke up.

"What the-?" Mary-Sue exclaimed, seeing the state of her sleeping quarters.

"Hey there MS, I like what you've done with the place," Leigh said. The other girl just shook her head.

"But- it wasn't supposed to be like this!" she whined.

"_Ok, _whatever. Anyway, I just wanted to clarify something with you: I am not in anyway interested in Legolas and so you don't have to worry about me trying to steal him." Mary-Sue looked at her suspiciously, and then smiled.

"Really? You mean it? Oh, that's great! I mean, this will save me a lot of time if I know you won't be trying to ruin my life's ambition! Thank you Aleia!" She looked like she would have hugged her but right then one of the crocodiles in the moat started to snap at them. "You really don't get along with some animals, do you?" Mary-Sue asked. Leigh just sighed and left the room.

"There you are!" Billy yelled. "The council's gonna start right after breakfast. Here, have a muffin. Dobby gave it to me." He handed his sister a blueberry muffin.

"Wait. _Dobby_?" Leigh asked.

"Yeah, you know, from Harry Potter. He's down in the kitchens."

"Why?"

"I dunno, he's an elf right?"

"Ok, Mary-Sue's going bananas if she honestly thinks that there would be house elves in Lord of the Rings. Let's go," Leigh rolled her eyes and, after eating the muffin, they headed towards the council area. Immediately outside, they stopped… and burst out laughing.

"Ok, she has to be kidding," Billy declared. "No one could type that bad. And since when is there a sign here anyway?" Leigh nodded in agreement. Right in front of them stood a sign declaring not that the Council of Elrond was going to take place, but that Count Soil of Almond was going to be there. As soon as they sat down between Mary-Sue and the dwarves they had to once again try very hard to contain their laughter. Sitting next to Elrond, wearing Count Dracula-like clothes was a man. Only, he was covered in dirt and on his robes he had a crest that looked, well, like an Almond. Judging by the disgusted face that Elrond was making, Count Soil didn't smell that good either. Coughing, he started his speech.

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old, you have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor," and so on. Everything seemed to be going all right-- well except that Mary-Sue kept staring at Legolas and sighing-- until Elrond said:

"Bring forth the wing, Frodo." The Hobbit stood up, carrying not the One Ring, but a chicken wing smothered in what could only be honey barbeque sauce. Leigh's stomach rumbled. She did love BBQ sauce, and she was still very hungry. However, Elrond seemed to have noticed his own mistake.

"Er… I mean, the _Ring_. Bring forth the **ring** Frodo," he corrected. Frodo once again got up and this time placed the ring on the pedestal. Everyone reacted. Well, everyone that is except Mary-Sue, Billy, and Leigh. Oh, and Count Almond had fallen asleep, muttering about attacking the Legions of Pecan so he could rescue the Duchess of Cashew.

Leighsuddenly started atwhat she'd just realized. She'd been affected greater by the _chicken wing_ than the one Ring. This could only mean one thing: Mary-Sue had been so focused on her Legomania that she hadn't realized that the ring was supposed to affect them as well. That was just plain weird. Crazy, in fact. It also showed a further lack of understanding for the plot. Leigh was so focused on this oddity that she almost missed the next Mary-Sue mess up.

Legolas was looking at Mary-Sue, completely enthralled with her beauty it seemed. She flipped her hair and then--

"Rawr! Roar!" A bear had entered the room. However, this was no ordinary bear. It was a strong bear with an afro. And he was followed by the most perfect guy that Leigh had ever seen. Too perfect, a Gary-Stu in fact. Immediately Leigh realized what must have happened. Mary-Sue had meant to say something like, "The beautiful princess of the Forgotten Lands had long, flowing hair. She was perfectly perfect in everyway." Instead she had written: "The beautiful prince of the Frog-hoppin' Lands had a strong, froing bear. He was perfectly perfect in everyway." This resulted in the perfect guy with his pet bear.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt. Carry on, please," he said. And everyone carried on as though nothing had happened. Mr. Perfect took a seat and his pet curled up on the floor. Leigh could swear that it was glaring at her.

The rest of the council went as planned.

"You have my sword."

"And you have my bow."

"And my axe."

"You carry the fates of us all little one. If this is truly the will of the council, then Gondor shall see it done." Ok, now Sam, Merry and Pippin had to show up, Leigh thought. Instead Mary-Sue stood up.

"My father, the King of the Forgotten Lands, sent me here to help. I feel I can only do that if I come with you. I am sure that Aleia and Baelnor also feel that they would love to help, so we will come," she said. Ok, now, only--

"_I_ also feel that my bear and I would be great help to you, so we will come as well as representitives of the Land of Frog-hopping," Mr. Perfect said. He and his bearhopped over tothem. Leigh shook her head and sighed. That had to be all.

"As the representative from Almond, I shall accompany you. I hope on my way that I may rescue the fair Duchess of Cashew from Lord Planters of Pecan and his Legions of Evil-Nuts," Count Soil declared. The rest of the group looked somewhat less than pleased.

"Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me!" Sam finally ran up to them.

"Indeed it seems hardley possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not," Lord Elrond stated.

"Secret?" Billy whispered. "There's a sign outside the door."

"Yeah but it says 'Count Soil of Almond' so maybe no one would be able to figure ti out," Leigh answered.

"We're coming too!"

"You'd have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us," Merry declared.

"Besides, you need someone of intelligence on this sort of mission… quest… thing." Pippin finished.

"Well, that leaves you out Pip," Merry retorted.

"9, er, wait I mean _15_ companions."

"Hey, how come the bear's a companion but not Bill the pony?" Billy asked his sister who shrugged.

"So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Wing." Elrond said happily, and everyone pretended not to have noticed his slip-up.

"Great! Where are we going?" asked Pippin.

TBC…

A/N: Well, here's chapter 3. I finally explained the title, and in the next chapter you'll get to see Mary-Sue getting a little irritated with her new traveling companions, as well as accidentally causing more chaos. As to why I haven't updated, I kinda got into a Star Wars, Harry Potter mood, but now I've decided to see if anyone's still interested I this fic. Oh well, please review and continue to read.


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